Recently, I attended the California State Bar Convention. One presentation was entitled “Tackling Emotion in Mediation: Tips for Dealing with People in Conflict.” The panelists were Claudia Hagadus Long, Esq.; David M. Miller, Esq. and Randy Kolin, Psy.D. Based on the many, many mediations I have conducted, I have found [Read More]
In most disputes, when people get angry- it is a bad sign! It usually means that the dispute will NOT get resolved, and that one or the other party will leave in a huff. Indeed, neuroscience teaches us that when the parts of our brain that control our emotions are operating [Read More]
I conducted a mediation the other day in which both sides professed that they wanted to settle the matter as the trial would be a “big distraction” but were stymied in their efforts due to personality conflicts. (They both wanted to settle as they did not want to have anything [Read More]
We have all heard that how we appear matters: that people judge us by our appearance without even realizing it. People will look at our faces and based on what they perceive unconsciously, will decide whether we are trustworthy. A recent study confirms this link between appearance and trustworthiness. In [Read More]
The August 2015 edition of the California Lawyer contains an article entitled Feelings in the Fray for which I was interviewed. In it, the author Susan Kostel discusses how emotions very much play a critical rule in negotiations and in resolving disputes. Understanding a bit of neuroscience goes a long way to helping parties resolve [Read More]
As a mediator, I have learned to choose my words carefully. The way I phrase something will make all the difference in the world between gaining someone’s trust and angering them. The importance of wording is brought home by Kenneth Cloke in his book, The Dance of Opposites (Goodmedia Press, 2013). [Read More]
Tucked inside the Sunday Business section of the New York Times (June 28, 2015), I discovered an article entitled “The Mouth Is Mightier Than The Pen” written by Matt Richtel about a study revealing that an old fashioned telephone call is far better than an e mail (much less texting) [Read More]
In his recently published book, Getting To Yes with Yourself (HarperCollins, 2015), William Ury explains a simple idea that may be difficult to implement; to get to Yes with others, we must first get to Yes with ourselves. Simply put; we are our own worst enemy and our own biggest obstacle [Read More]
