Like many mediators, I usually serve some food during a mediation (along with water, coffee, tea etc.). Many of the participants are surprised and pleased when they come into the conference room and are greeted by these goodies. They probably think I am simply being hospitable. I am being more [Read More]
In any given mediation, I am often asked whether I think the other party is telling the “truth”, can she be “trusted” ? et cetera. It is a hard question to answer, and I prefer to be positive and optimistic in my response by stating that I have no reason [Read More]
It is funny how sometimes the stars align to suddenly highlight an issue that was nowhere in my conscious brain before then. Last night, I received an emergency e mail asking if I could help a fellow professor with her class tonight. I looked at my schedule and found I [Read More]
Several weeks ago, I posted a blog about a book I recently read, Negotiating the Impossible by Deepak Malhotra (Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc., Oakland, Ca. 2016). In it, the author notes that three things are paramount to resolving the most intractable disputes: Framing, Process and Empathy. By “framing”, the author means [Read More]
There can be no empathy where there is no civility. I was at a conference recently during which one the presenters made this statement. It struck me as I had never thought about these concepts as being connected. But, indeed, they are. “Civility” is defined as “…the act of showing [Read More]
I have said this before and will say it again: talking to the other party does wonders. After mediating more than 2,000 cases, I am still at a loss to understand why parties in litigation are afraid to sit down with each other and discuss the issues directly. ( I [Read More]
I read an article in the New York Times the other day entitled, “Let Go of Your Grudges. They’re Doing You No Good” by Tim Herrera ( May 19, 2019), and it struck me that many lawsuits are nothing more than unforgiven grudges. The article starts with the question: “What [Read More]
There is an adage that a person who is her own lawyer, has a fool for a client, meaning that representing yourself is a foolish. Why? You lose perspective, objectivity and perhaps even credibility. Based on a recent event, it seems that this adage applies to mediators as well: one [Read More]
