In last week’s blog, I mentioned one paradox (competition and cooperation) discussed by Bernard Mayer in his book, The Conflict Paradox (ABA and Jossey-Bass, 2015). A second one is avoidance and engagement. Like the first paradox, on superficial glance, avoidance and engagement appear to be polar opposites. But, upon deeper [Read More]
In any negotiation training class, the concepts of “distributive “bargaining and “integrative” bargaining are invariably discussed. The former is viewed as a form of “competitive” bargaining in which for every gain that one party makes, the other party loses. It is a “zero sum” game in which a “fixed” pie [Read More]
Are you superstitious? Do you wear a “lucky” piece of clothing when you need the “gods” to be with you or have a “lucky” charm that you use or hold dear when you hope and pray that a certain event turns out as you want it to? If so, you [Read More]
Depending upon where one mediates within the United States, the mediator either will start the mediation with a joint session or will simply start with separate sessions so that the adverse parties may, indeed, never see each other. For some reason, using joint sessions is popular on the east coast [Read More]
Recently, I attended the California State Bar Convention. One presentation was entitled “Tackling Emotion in Mediation: Tips for Dealing with People in Conflict.” The panelists were Claudia Hagadus Long, Esq.; David M. Miller, Esq. and Randy Kolin, Psy.D. Based on the many, many mediations I have conducted, I have found [Read More]
I conducted a mediation the other day in which both sides professed that they wanted to settle the matter as the trial would be a “big distraction” but were stymied in their efforts due to personality conflicts. (They both wanted to settle as they did not want to have anything [Read More]
The August 2015 edition of the California Lawyer contains an article entitled Feelings in the Fray for which I was interviewed. In it, the author Susan Kostel discusses how emotions very much play a critical rule in negotiations and in resolving disputes. Understanding a bit of neuroscience goes a long way to helping parties resolve [Read More]
As a mediator, I have learned to choose my words carefully. The way I phrase something will make all the difference in the world between gaining someone’s trust and angering them. The importance of wording is brought home by Kenneth Cloke in his book, The Dance of Opposites (Goodmedia Press, 2013). [Read More]
