My husband and I had quite a scare last week: we thought we would have to say goodbye to Buddy, our 14-year-old male dog who has cancer.

We found him collapsed out in the yard and thought the end had come. We took him to the emergency vet with the summary of his cancer diagnosis so that the vet would have some background to guide her.

What struck me was that both the medical assistant and the vet engaged in empathy and perspective taking. In a recent blog post, the Harvard Program on Negotiation (PONS) discussed the difference between perspective taking and empathy. In “Perspective Taking and Empathy in Business Negotiations” (March 20, 2025), the author notes: “Perspective taking is a cognitive ability that involves considering how other people think. Empathy, by contrast, involves emotionally connecting with others and experiencing sympathy and concern for them”. (Id.)

When we first walked into the emergency vet’s office, the vet assistant showed immense empathy. She expressed great concern for Buddy, who had to be carted in on a stretcher because he could not stand up. Her voice was very calm, reassuring, and gentle. She could feel our pain.

The vet showed empathy as well as perspective-taking. After examining Buddy, she came in to advise that the end was probably in sight for Buddy in a tone that showed great sympathy and concern. She broke the news very gently, giving us a couple of options. At the same time, she considered how we were feeling about the news, stating that she would give us time to think about what to do. She understood how difficult the decision was from our perspective. She “stood in our shoes”, so to speak. (I guess that is inherent in being a vet!)

The blog post notes that although these two skills are quite different, sometimes we might have to use them simultaneously. (Id.) This was one of those times for the vet. Delivering terrible news (The “end” is here) requires empathy and perspective taking simultaneously.

How did this end? Buddy recovered and is still alive. My husband and I told the vet we would return in a few hours to say goodbye. However, a few hours later, the vet called to say that Buddy had stabilized and was sitting up. It turns out he had vestibular (vertigo) disease, and the drugs given to him for that had worked. So, that afternoon, we went and picked him up. Whether the vestibular came on of its own accord or was somehow related to his cancer is anyone’s guess!

So, Buddy is walking, although he is a little unbalanced, as if he has had a few too many beers. But that is okay!

Empathy and perspective-taking are valuable in any situation, not just negotiations, mediations, or business!

… Just something to think about.

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