I am in a quandary. Whenever I have a mediation that does not settle at mediation, I follow up. But the question arises: what is the best way? Should I do it by telephone? E-mail? Text? Some of the above? All of the above?
This quandary came to mind in light of a recent blog post on the Harvard Program on Negotiation (PON) entitled “Pros and Cons of Email Communication” by Katie Shonk (September 3, 2024.)
Ms. Shonk points out that when we ask someone for a favor in person, chances are we will get a favorable response because our request puts the other in an awkward and uncomfortable position: does she really want to say “no” to our face? (Id.)
Suppose, though, the request is by e-mail. Will the receiver be as receptive? Ms. Shonk discusses an experiment conducted by M. Mahdi Roghanizad of Western University in Ontario, Canada and Vanessa K. Bohns of Cornell University in which hundreds of students approached strangers either in person or by e-mail asking for a favor.
In one experiment, the request was to complete a 44 -item personality test for no reward. The participants surmised that about half of those approached either in person or email would comply with the request.
In actuality, about 7 out of 10 complied with the request when approached in person while less than one in ten complied with the email request. (Id.)
In short, while sending an e mail is much easier, it is also much easier for the responding party to hit the delete button. When the request is made in person- it is a lot harder to say “no” face to face even if on Zoom. (Id.)
An issue to be considered is emotions. Our emotions are involved in any discussion or negotiation. When discussing something face to face, the other party picks up on our emotions and easily determines if we are angry, frustrated, embarrassed, interested in what they are saying or downright bored. (Id.)
In an e-mail exchange, it is not so easy to pick up the emotional content. Obviously, if the message is in all caps, the party is essentially screaming at us with the emotions that entails. But, in a typically written e mail (no caps, no underlining, no italics), it is hard to fathom whether the sender is sending the message in anger, jest, etc. Indeed, in one experiment, “two trained data coders who independently studied the same transcripts of email negotiations agreed on which emotions study participants expressed only about 22% of the time.” (Id.) Often, one coder thought it was anger while the other coder thought the same words expressed interest. (Id.) Oher experiments revealed the same results: we are bad at detecting emotions in emails! (Id.)
So while following up by e mail may be easier and simpler, it appears my response rate will be minimal. It is better to follow up by telephone even though it is more time-consuming!
…. Just something to think about!
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